I struggled with anxiety a bit when I was in my 20’s, and in my family we have a history of PostNatal Psychosis. So when I became pregnant, I let my husband know that it might happen to me too. I loved the idea of becoming a parent, but when I became a mother it was the hardest and most overwhelming thing in the world. I had no idea what I was doing. After 3 months, my symptoms started showing as an uncontrollable anger. A rage that would blind me and it wasn’t until after it passed that I would look back and think “who is this person”.
One day, 6 months after giving birth to my first child, I found myself lying on the floor sobbing and thought this isn’t right. So I went to see my GP who started me on anti-depressant medication. I know medication isn’t for everyone but it worked for me. I'm really glad I finally sought medical help and haven’t looked back ever since.
I still struggle daily, but I feel more myself. Parenting is still hard, but my emotions are more stable. I feel present as a parent, and able to make decisions with a sane mind. I just feel happier. Especially since I know my family has a happy mum (for the most part, haha).
#BeautifulMinds is a series of raw and honest stories from people sharing their lived experience with mental health in New Zealand. Published with permission. We hope these stories capture the diversity of how mental health affects different people and you can be inspired by their journey towards mental wellbeing. Clearhead’s mission is to destigmatise mental health through raising awareness and encouraging people to feel it is ok to seek help early by giving them the tools to do so. Sign up now to use the platform, it is free to do so!
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